Our Best Marriage Tips

OUR BEST MARRIAGE TIPS

As a company, we not only focus on the beauty of proposals and weddings 

but on the long-lasting ever-after. 






Whether you’ve been married for a few months, years or you are already approaching a few decades together, we are sure by now you have come to realise that it takes more to build a lasting marriage than simply being in love.


Here at Miinella, we are firm believers that a good, healthy marriage is cultivated and filled with many years of deep intentionality, and continual seasons of sowing seeds and reaping the fruit thereof.


In the heart of our CEO and her husband who recently celebrated their fourth anniversary, we decided to share with you our top four marriage tips right out of the heart of Miinella!


TIP #1: “I’m the lucky one!”

Friends of ours have been married for 29 years and have four gorgeous children. The husband Nigel said to us at one point, "Don't tell Debbie, she has no idea...I'm the lucky one to have her!"


You are in a great place when you truly believe that you are the "lucky one" to be married to your spouse. 


Nothing is worse for your marriage than believing you are entitled to your partner  doing certain things for you because you believe, “they are lucky to have you."


When you operate with a spirit of thankfulness, you showcase an appreciation for your spouse that is so impactful and fundamental to a beautiful, healthy marriage. When we're mad or frustrated, we typically return to the theme of gratitude. 


If you can zoom out of a situation and appreciate your spouse, your heart becomes soft and tender towards each other again and a lot of “small foxes” can be eliminated in this way.

TIP #2: OUTSERVE EACH OTHER!

One of the best marriage advice we've received came from a couple that had only been married for a month at that point in time (and who, happily, are still married with two children a couple of years later). 


Their advice to us was simple yet profound, “May you always OUT-SERVE one another.”


This may sound simple, but a couple of years down the line and we are still trying to master this simple task. As you may know, it's really not always as easy as it sounds. 


It's often the simplest day-to-day tasks like cooking and cleaning that can take its turn and add to the everyday pressures of life.


Let's use a real-life example that my husband Francois loves to use (despite the fact that we don't have children yet) to illustrate this point:


When your baby cries in the middle of the night, you have the option of embracing one of the following mindsets:


You can either get frustrated because "why doesn't my wife stand up to tend to the baby, doesn't she know I've got work tomorrow?

Or…

Alternatively, "Let me tend to our baby; my wife has been caring for our child all day; let me help her."


It's the exact same situation, but the viewpoints are fundamentally opposed.

Which will you choose?


We choose to out-serve each other because it is the nature of Christ to serve. It is one of the primary ways in which we get to bless our spouse.

TIP #3: SUBMIT UNTO ONE ANOTHER

I often find that sharing a story or an anecdote is the best way to try and convey a healthy perspective I would like to share.

When my husband and I were dating, at one stage I felt frustrated because it felt like I couldn't hear the Lord's voice as clearly as I did while I was single. After six months of dating, just before we got engaged, I mentioned this to my husband (boyfriend at the time.)

He was taken aback as he said, "That means it's been like that since we've been dating?"
I told him to relax, as I knew I truly had total peace about us as a couple. We prayed together and the Lord showed me this image/metaphor that I would like to share with you today. 

While I was single, it was like being in my own canoe. I knew how to steer, maneuver the canoe and how to maintain total control over it. Now, since being in a relationship with Francois, I find myself in a larger canoe with a partner. Initially while trying to row together, paddles bash, and you have to learn to communicate effectively.
It takes a while to get used to it. What I did realise, however, changed my perspective entirely. When you paddle together and you are in sync, you will both row exponentially faster. Together you truly can accomplish so much more.

The blessing of submission:

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

Submission is intended to be a blessing and serves as a covering in order for you to grow.  Submission is in no way however to be enforced like someone putting a lid on you and stifling all your ideas or dominating you. Biblical submission is a blessing within the confounds of a godly, healthy marriage.

TIP #4: Champion one another

I can honestly say that Francois is my biggest champion (the title cheerleader just doesn't sit as well with him🤣).


Wherever we go, he is always the first to hand out my business card, show others Miinella's Instagram page, and get excited about what we get to do & achieve together. That means the world to me. You have the opportunity to either talk badly about your spouse or to speak highly of your spouse in front of others. 


This leads me to my question…

How do you speak about your spouse in front of others?


Honour goes a long way in marriage. Honouring your spouse is easy when moments are ideal, but honouring your spouse isn’t just for the days when you are getting along. We are called to honour our spouse even when “we” feel the moment doesn’t exactly call for it. Never be the one to speak badly about your spouse in front of family or friends. Whether it’s about the bigger matters of life or even his habit of leaving his socks all over the floor - dishonour is a breeding ground for the enemy in your marriage. We are called to cover each other’s nakedness, not expose each other’s shame.


 “Be devoted to one another in love, honour one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

Our prayer for you is that you will always be the cheerleader in the back of the room, calling out the good and the gold in your spouse.


At Miinella we absolutely love creating engagement rings and sharing the stories and testimonies that our clients freely share with us. We firmly believe, however, that it doesn't just stop on the wedding day. 


Your wedding day is just the beginning of a beautiful journey together with your spouse. The beauty of the journey is up to you! You get to decide the tone of your marriage.


We hope you are inspired to cultivate your marriage with intentionality that is drenched in the banner of love, grace, and servanthood!


Photographer: Shaula Greyvenstein Photography

Bride and Groom: Lea Jacobs & J Jacobs 

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